Your guinea pig must now be utilised and evidence obtained to show a doubting audience (the general public) that you are an expert and capable of changing their existence forever.
With my help, the Chief Guinea Pig, Mr Barry Leffat, was ready to start losing weight.
Here are my top tips for ideas to make you rich.
Genius Idea Alert 1
We sell seaweed as a dietary supplement – I read somewhere that it is a super food. If we go to the local beach we can get a lorry load, puree it into frozen cubes and sell it as part of the package..
Action Plan Note: Need to email a council near the sea and check what permission we need.
Genius Idea Alert 2
We sell special dietary clothes to go with the book. Tight pants, clothes with special elasticated buttons in so that you do not need to buy lots of different sized pairs as you lose weight rapidly, fat person’s deodorant spray – with an extra long sprayer to reach between the skin flaps under the armpits.
Genius Idea Alert 3
We sell trampolines for fat people – if they jump up and down they will lose weight really fast.
NB If you are slightly overweight and reading this blog, I suspect you are fed up of reading about flaps under armpits, fat people, ignorant comments about weight loss and a generally insulting approach to the whole thing. Don’t worry. Keith gets his comeuppance eventually… (Anwen David – his wife)
At all times, think outside the box. Continually think of ways to push your idea, develop products linked to your expertise and do not be afraid of failure.
In order to develop my idea of selling seaweed as a dietary supplement I contacted a council department near the sea to see what permission we needed if we wanted to extract seaweed on an industrial scale.
Email to Criccieth Town Council
I should very much like to enquire about removing some of the seaweed from the beach in Criccieth in order to develop a revolutionary new superfood that could alleviate starving and poverty in the Third World. As you will know if you regularly sit on the beach, the seaweed that gets washed ashore is a bit of a mess, smells a bit, is somewhat unsightly, and only appears to get used by children to throw at each other.
Can you let me know what the procedures are for making an application to access the beach with a dumper truck and JCB?
Many thanks/diolch yn fawr
Email from Criccieth Community Council
Dear Mr David,
Many thanks for your email. We would love to assist with alleviating poverty and starvation in the Third World, but we have more pressing matters at present to consider, such as the proposed removal of the 10.35am train service from Criccieth to Pwllheli.
If you would like to access the beach with a JCB and dumper truck you would first have to dig a tunnel from the car park, under the promenade and onto the beach.
Once you have dug your tunnel, you are welcome to take seaweed from the beach as at present there is no regulation preventing you from doing so. However, you would need to apply for planning permission to dig a tunnel from the car park.
I suggest you may find a wheelbarrow and your car boot a better option.
Gethin Wyn Williams
Planning/ Environment Officer
Criccieth Town Council
I followed the helpful advice of the Planning Officer and spent a day removing seaweed from the beach using my wheelbarrow and spade.
Experiments in my laboratory soon indicated that it was not possible just to boil the seaweed, mush it with a food processor and sell it in a semi-liquid form. Some sort of process would be needed to turn it into something more useable and that this process would require financial investment.
The time experimenting with seaweed was not wasted however, as it led to further ideas and developments. You will learn more about the need to be flexible and ‘go with the flow’ as this blog progresses.
Keith David is a businessman from a small village in North Wales. He is the author of “The Fat Man’s Guide to Not Being Fat”, “How to Get Rich” and a couple of other self-help books. Best known for his dramatic rise to fame after inventing a dietary plan to lose 7 stone in a week, he is similarly fairly well known for his subsequent fall back into penury. His wife, Anwen David regularly hacks his blog entries and adds factual corrections. You can read Keith’s book on How To Get Rich by visiting Amazon here